"I had a really cool dream...

today mom," Kadan said to me after he woke up from his nap (Ahh, yes -- my kids still take naps sometimes).

"What was is about son?"

"Well, I was a teenager, and you were a teenager..." he is totally chuckling now and his little cheeks are blushing "and we got married...I wish it wasn't a dream."

How cute is that? My son wanting to marry me. Kudos to my little boy who loves me in spite of me.

Just have to share a fun picture I took of him swimming. Check out those muscles (he definitely gets them from his mom -- he, he!)

"Mom, I know what these are...

these are for your eyes." Cucumber for your eyes -- Addy is totally up on the natural facials. I just giggled when she put them on her eyes and had to take a picture.

She is so fun to talk to. She is learning so much at school -- she is queen of diagonals and is learning to read. Just now we had a conversation that was totally cute. Here goes:

Mom, I have lots of new friends at school. I have a new Zach and a new Jake. But I want to be with my old friends too. I miss Gavin and Zach. I want to go back and be with them for a Google days. That's a long, long time, you know. Then I want to go to Tia's so I can make cookies. She makes yummy cookies.

Then another day:

Mom, I am amazing. I can do everything. I can even zip up everything -- sweaters...life jackets and, um, bags. I am so amazing.

Little Miss Mozart...

is at it again. Annalyse (along with my other children) just love to play the piano. The only difference is Bo does it in style. Using every part of her body (fingers, hands, hands, feet, & last but not least, her little tush) she creates unique concertos.

I am so thankful for my WONDERFUL friends...

whom I also count as my family. Thank you gals for all your kind comments, heartfelt phone conversations and wonderful words of wisdom. It is amazing that we can be so far away, yet have such a closeness. I hope that we will be able to always feel this connection. Our relationships are heavenly (literally).

Last night I went to the temple. Oh, the temple. There is nothing more wonderful than a visit to the temple. Immediately when entering the temple grounds, I always feel an overwhelming sense of peace and love. This was also the case yesterday. As a sat outside reflecting on this difficult situation, I bowed my head to pray. Just as the prayer began, a light mist of rain fell from the sky, almost like a cleansing of my troubled heart. I opened the prayer asking Heavenly Father to give me direction and to ask him to help me forgive those that have hurt me and my family. Immediately thoughts came to my mind -- giving me direction and hope. In the middle of the prayer I felt the need to write down the inspiration and share it. I would like to share this precious counsel with you:

Continue to pray both night and morning and many times throughout the day. Let these prayers be more fervent so that you may be given peace.

Not only read the scriptures daily with your family, but also study them. Enjoy reading them and the wisdom that lie therein. This will give you strength.

Be happy, stay positive for it is your responsibility to keep the spirit in your home. Then take the additional time for each child each day to tell them you love them, this will lift their spirits.

Listen to uplifting music. This will welcome the Spirit and make your heart rejoice.

Show love to your children, spend time with them, be patient, don't get frustrated since they need you to help them grow.

Keep in touch with your friends, for their friendships are a blessing from God. They will be a good influence on you throughout your life.

Do not judge others. They will handle situations differently than you.

You are a daughter of God. Great things are in store for you. You will be greatly blessed. These challenges will enable you to grow and someday help others.

I came away from the temple invigorated and with a heart of forgiveness. Since then, I must admit, it has been difficult to keep that forgiving heart. I keep replaying things in my mind sometimes thinking that I should tell the individual what I really think of them. But I know that this is NOT the right way. I need to forgive, distance myself, yet forgive nonetheless.

I cannot express how much you all mean to me. Each one of you fill a part of me that enables me to be a better person, to see things from another perspective and recognize that I am loved. Please know how important each one of you are, that you all have amazing talents and that you are all Divine women. Love you!

I don't understand how or even why...

people can be so mean. I don't get how adults can treat innocent children badly with no remorse. "So, your kids are crying. Oh well, I am going do what I am going do. It doesn't matter if they have done nothing wrong, I don't want your kids to come around my family. You cannot do or say nothing to change my mind." As I have gone through many challenges in my life, I have come to realize fighting and selfishness does not solve any problems. The only way a problem can be solved is through fasting, prayer and a spirit of love. As a mother, my most precious possessions are my children. I strive to rear them in love and righteousness. I pray every morning for the ability to make right choices as a parent, to have the patience, to keep them from harm. I even find myself praying several times throughout the day for extra strength. I thank the Lord each night for His guidance and protection of our precious family. Yet, in situations like this I do not know what to do. I have been praying, I have been patient, I have tried my best to do what is right yet no answers seem quite right. I hope to be able to go to the temple today to feel the spirit and sense the peace the temple brings.

Being in beautiful Pinetop/Lakeside has been difficult for me. I have felt isolated from dear friends and family that could give me good advice and help me through this situation. My children have needed their close friends to buffer them and give them strength but we are still new in this town and friendships are just developing.

I need strength, I need guidance and I need the support from you all. I hope that the individuals that have caused this heart wrenching experience in our little family's life does not read this posting -- I am sure that it will cause more drama and pain yet I need the strength of women of faith and friendship to help me through this one. Love you guys.

My Sweet, Sweet Baby...

is growing up (insert mom pouty lip here).

Annalyse turned 3 today. It seems like just yesterday that I was at her baby shower with little Ms. Vivian and Ms. Avery. It was so fun being pregnant with 3 other good friends (Hilary, Michelle, and Stacey). We would share all our fun stories, events, etc. I remember frilly pink blankets, gold metallic diaper bags and satin car seat covers. Will this be the last time I experience all the fun of being a new mom again? Most likely, but it makes my heart yearn for other (don't tell Ian -- maybe I will just have to wait 20 years until I have grandbabies).

Bo has been talking about her birthday for months. Every time we go to the store she says "I want this for my birf-day." She finally decided what she wanted for her birthday last night; she wants a paci and a bunny. Maybe we will get her a bunny.

She is becoming such a big girl. She even thinks that she needs to pick out her clothes and her hairstyle. This morning was no different. She wanted a pink dress and a jacket with her hair in 3 ponies, a blue butterfly headband and huge pink ribbon since she wanted to look "pretty for my birf-day." Happy, Happy Birthday my sweet, sweet baby!

So, I am totally loving being a...

soccer mom for the first time. This year the boys finally were able to play soccer (there was no conflicts between football and baseball). They have been so excited and have been playing during recess at school then coming home and practicing. Both boys have wonderful coaches that are teaching them the fundamentals and helping them learn how to handle the ball. In just one short week, it is amazing how much better they have become.


Just after Kadan's game the coach motioned him over to her. I overheard a little of the conversation between him, the coach and the assistant coach. The coach was saying how Kadan is such a natural and that he knew where to position himself to take the ball down the field. She was impressed that he had never played before. Kadan came over to me beaming, "My coach thinks I am a great player." This was definitely a proud mom moment.

During the first couple of practices, Hunter would run his little heart out but would be too timid to kick the ball. Well today was a totally different story. He knew his position, he knew the strategy, and when he got the chance he clobbered the ball -- sending it to one of the forwards. The coach came up to me after the game and said how proud she was of him and how much he had improved. This was proud moment number 2.


I must admit that after only one week of being involved with soccer I am totally hooked. There is nonstop action and lots of cheering -- this is right up my alley since I just cannot keep quiet (surprise, I know) when the game gets exciting. I captured a few pictures of their first game and would love to share.

Hunter and I shared a precious moment...

a few nights ago. Let me preface the moment.

After over 2 months of living in suitcases and boxes, we are finally getting to the tail end of opening boxes and discovering some cherished things that we have been missing. One of the last boxes of toys we opened was one of our most valuable boxes. Inside was the Build-A-Bear stuffed animals that Grandma Brimhall (Claudette) had given to the children just before she passed away. I still remember the excitement as they each picked the perfect animal. Addy picked a pink cheetah with a pink and purple tutu and named her Fairy Wishing Star. Bo picked a white poodle with a jean leopard print outfit and we named her Cee Cee (for Claudette -- Claudette too had a snazzy jean leopard print outfit). Kadan picked a "rockin dude" penguin who was a karate master and surfer and named him Cool Dude Kadan Rock Star. Hunter chose a green dinosaur who was a skateboarding ninja (sorry, but I cannot remember his name). In each animal was inserted a voice recorded message from Grandma.

When I opened the box, all the kids were excited. Hugging and kissing their animals and pushing the button to hear Grandma's voice. I turned and looked at Hunter who was trying to hide behind the other kids to avoid being noticed. When I saw him I could see that he was crying. I went to him and he said, "Mom, Listen to my bear."

"Hunter, this is Grandma. I love you. Always remember me. Think of me when you push the button on your bear." The message is a little broken, you can tell that Claudette was having a hard time recording her message to her 1st grandchild.

Hunter then buried his head into my chest and cried, "I miss you. I miss you. Grandma, I miss you. I will never forget you. You were so kind to me. I love you. I will never forget you." We held each other close and cried. Life is definitely different now that Claudette is no longer with us. We miss her every day.

So, anyone that knows me real well knows that I am...

a woose of a mom. I have a hard time with disciplining my children (even though I know it is good for them) and hate to hear them cry. I have been trying not to give in and it is killing me (but what doesn't kill you always makes you stronger, right?).

Well, one of the things that I know I have been terrible about is letting my girls have pacies. Even Addy still has one. I knew I was in trouble when she sneaked one into her backpack for Kindergarten. Funny thing is Claudette used to say that as long as she doesn't go to school with it, it is okay. Well, having a passy at almost 3 and 5 1/2 is definitely not okay.

Yesterday after traveling home from the Valley, I could not find a paci for the girls so I thought "now it the best time to take them away." So, take them away I did. After taking an hour to put Bo to bed and rubbing Addy's back for what seemed like forever, they finally fell to sleep.

Tonight when I was putting the kids to bed, Addy didn't even ask for a paci -- YEAH! Mission 1 accomplished. Now Bo is another story. Up and down out of bed. Wanting to ask me a question, wanting a sippy cup, wanting a light in the room... the list goes on and on. Then she finally asked for a paci. I told her that the pacies were gone forever. Of course, she asked "why mommy?" I told her that pacies were for baby's only. She quickly responded, "Mommy, I a baby. I need a paci. I can talk but I a baby. Addy not a baby, Bo's a yittle baby. Can I have a paci, pllllleeeease?" Oh, did this ever break my heart. But guess what? I stuck to my guns. And finally to bed (at 10:30 pm) she went without even crying. Victory #2 (maybe)!

"Mom, how do you know if our horse is a boy or girl horse?"

Addy asked today. Her horse is the neighbor's horse and lives in the pasture behind her house. "Oh Boy," I thought to myself, "How in the world am I supposed to answer that question in a manner that is appropriate for this little 5 year-old girl of mine." Well, I didn't even have to come up with some fabulous mom answer to avoid the boy vs. girl anatomy comment.

After just a moment of reflection, she answered her question, "It's a she horse because it has brown eye lashes." I giggled. Perfect! Never thought of it this way but this will work for now. Oh, the innocence of youth.

I never thought that buying furniture...

could be so frustrating. There are multiple reasons:

1. the furniture should "fit" into the type of the home


2. the furniture should fit your style of the family -- with little kids I need sturdy and stain resistant


3. the costs should be reasonable
   
4. I am not quite sure what I want comes even close to what we need and of course the budget is way limiting.

So, I was talking to Tia tonight and we were sharing what we really liked in furniture and our frustrations of not being able to find what we want. I told her I would send her some pictures of what I would love to have right now but cannot remember her email. So, I am posting them here. I would also love to get other people's opinions -- be TOTALLY honest here since I these might not be appropriate for us at this time in our lives. Here they are:

Here is my all-time favorite couch -- simple, canvas white slip cover, roller legs -- looks soft and comfy.

Love this room -- the cool white wall, minimalistic drapes, hardwood floors (we have laminate but still looks good), awesome leather chairs with a simple design. Totally love the ceiling (but this will NOT happen in our house -- just the regular ones for us) but I also really like the idea of having a chandelier in the middle of your living room.

Isn't this a cool entertainment center -- even on sale right now. I love how it can reflect the light but I am not sure if I am totally crazy liking this -- is it completely ugly (I tend to like ugly sometimes) and what about fingerprints?

"Today is the best day of my life..."

Kadan kept repeating yesterday. I felt totally bad not having a party for him or doing much of anything for his birthday. Things have been so crazy around here with unpacking, interviews, settling in, starting school, etc. that I just did not have time to plan much of anything. So, at the last second I decided that I was going to have an afternoon just with Kadan. I told him he could get anything that he wanted for his birthday and that I was going to take him to get it. At first he said, "I want a motor scooter, " but after telling him how expensive they were and that he was still too young he decided he wanted a new skateboard. After making a few calls I found one skate shop in the area. When we walked in he was flabbergasted -- "Wow, this store is cool." Quickly he went to the rack of skateboards, touching each one of them, telling me how cool each one was. Then he saw the price tags "$52.99, $64.99, $149.99, $129.99, $89.99..." He looked at each one, asking price. "Mom, these are expensive. Are you sure we can afford one?" I explained to him that we wanted to give him a really nice gift so he could chose which one he wanted. He walked by them all again, looking at each one closely. Then went back to the $52.99 board -- "Mom, this one is really cool with a big dragon on it. Can we get this one, it's the cheapest."

How cool was that? -- he was concerned about the price and wanted to make sure he did not spend too much money. He was so excited about the skateboard, chatting all the way home about how he was going to take good care of it, was going to keep it clean, and was going to ride it all the time.

Our next stop was going to Walmart (Sorry Courtney -- there is no other place to shop here) to pick up another gift, Super Smash Bros (this one was from my mom). We also went shopping for cake and ice cream. When we finally found cake isle, Kadan found just the cake he wanted -- chocolate with chocolate icing. He then said, "Mom, I really don't like cake but I am going to get the chocolate cake just for Addasyn cuz it is her favorite." (Ahh, how sweet is he).

On our way home I told him he could also pick out what he wanted to eat. I was thinking he was going to choose a Mexican Restaurant but to my surprise he said "Oreos, you know that kind with the meat inside with the red sauce that comes out of a can." Oh, he meant Beef Ravioli -- PERFECT -- the most simple meal ever.

After watching his video of the last year, eating lots of cake and ice cream and singing our Family birthday song, I was able to interview him. Here are his lists of FAVORITES:

Food: Ravioli, Bean burritos with cheese on the outside, tacos, and green beans
Sport: All of them
Friends: All my Michigan friends (Thomas, Jacob, Espen, Connor, Joey, Evan, Grant, Andrew, Chad, Gavin...) and my new friends Thomas and Tyes
Song: Book of Mormon Stories
Season: Spring and Summer
Subject: Science, Math, Gym, Computer Lab -- all subjects are my favorites
Book: Book of Mormon
Game: Lego Star Wars, Wii Sports, Super Smash Brothers
Color: Green, red, white, yellow, blue
Animal: Lions, tigers and cheetahs
Class: Mrs. Reno and Matuszak
Day: Birthdays
Favorite Birthday: Today

What do you want to be when you grow up? A wrestler, boxer and a scientist
How many kids to you want? 50
How old do you want to be when you get married? 100, no 50, no 70, no 80... (he he). I know... 54. That is the perfect age.

Happy Happy Birthday Kadan Dear...

Happy 7th B-day Kadan. This morning he woke up too early for breakfast in bed but we still had a pancake feast. He is so excited about this birthday and has huge plans. He wants to invite his whole class to his birthday party (too bad that this year we are not having one), get a motorized scooter (this too he will not have), pick out a skateboard (this we can do) and have Popsicles for his class (I have to head out and get them right now).

Kadan is so full of fun and energy. His laugh is catchy and just hearing it brightens your day. He is becoming such a gentleman and waits for the ladies so he can open the door for them. He is tennis champion on the Wii -- just watching him play makes you tired. He loves to read his scriptures and go to church activities. He has a little rebel side in him too and loves fire (he wants a fire blanket in his new room) and getting into mischief. I cannot wait to interview him today to find out his favorites.Kadan was kind-a bummed that we only had CareBear candles (still unpacking) so we improvised with matches to make him smile.

Some Memories...

of Us. Thanks to Hilary for giving me the idea a couple weeks ago (I know, I know -- Jen's late again). Here's how you do it:

1. Leave a comment on my blog, one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

BTW -- to all the wonderful MI ladies -- I have left comments so you might have to go back to your history to find the memories.

A girl and her dog...

or to be more correct, grandpa's dog. Addy just LOVES animals. Staying with Grandpa for 1 1/2 months was so wonderful for Addy. She woke up each morning at the crack of dawn to go hang out with Target and Shelby. She ate with them, slept with them in the totally stinky, hairy dogbed, swam with them, and played with them for hours a day (don't tell grandpa but she also constantly snuck them inside to play cars and house with her). I would really love for her to have a dog but we still don't have the yard or the space for a pet just yet.

"Me and my shadow...

We're closer than pages that stick in a book. We're closer than ripples that play in a brook..." that's me an my shadow Bo.


Since the older kids have gone back to school it has just been me and Bo. Wherever I go, she's there. Whenever I sit, she sits on my lap. Whenever I do just about anything, she is right there by my side. I have never read so many books, played with dolls so long or talked about whatever 2 year-olds like to talk about as I have these last few days. It must admit that it has been tough to get a lot of work done, but if I put all the duties of the day aside for a moment to spend with her it is worth it (I just have to tell my mind to chill and quit looking at the dirty dishes or the messy floor until naptime).

Sometimes I wonder how I could have raised...

such a sweet boy. Hunter always wants to make sure he is kind and loving to everyone. He has such a tender heart that he worries if he hurt someone's feelings. Lately, I have been finding him saying quick prayers. At first I could never catch what he was whispering. After being more attentive to my little guy, I heard his prayers, "Heavenly Father, I am sorry if I did something bad" or "Heavenly Father, I will try to be nicer to Kadan" or "Heavenly Father, bless that 'so-n-so' will feel better today." Tonight while I was getting the kids ready for bed I asked Hunter why he prayed so much. He said, "Mom, sometimes I get a sick feeling in my stomach and I know that I need to pray to do better or to help someone. After I am done praying, I feel bette."

I was speechless, for I was asking him in order to tell him that maybe he could just say a couple big prayers per day instead of saying dozens throughout the day. Maybe my intent was to make sure that he could fit in better with his classmates or maybe it was because I just did not understand that such a young boy could be so close to the Spirit. But, I do know now -- what a amazing thing that a 9 year-old boy can have such a significant relationship with Heavenly Father that he can pray throughout the day, without equivocation. I learn so much from him. I am so thankful that I am a better mom because I have a son like Hunter.

More fun @ our MI backyard party...

Here are some more pictures of that fun day. The clown was a total riot -- having all the kids (and adults) in stitches. Now, there are LOTS of pictures of some of my favorite little ones that I did not get from the beginning and towards the end of the event. If any of ya'll have any, I would love it if you could email them to me.