Monday, November 10, 2008

With great termoil comes....

even greater spiritual blessings. You know when you are confused and feeling down -- not knowing what to do or which way to go or even if you are adequate enough to receive inspiration from our Heavenly Father, this is when your prayers can become more fervent or when you just curl up in bed and cry. I have been having some of those moments -- all too often in fact. Many times I feel that my little challenges are not worth going to the Lord about and that He does not need to be bothered by me again. Yet, there is always something, someone or some feeling that lifts me up and makes me remember that I am worth it, that I am special, and that I have a Heavenly Father that is there to help me through it all.

This past week was one of the most challenging weeks of my life -- personal tragedy (too personal to expound upon) and ultimate shock brought much confusion. How can this be happening to me? Is this what I signed up for? I have strived my whole life to follow the Savior and live the principles of the Gospel so why did I make decisions years ago that led me down this path? But even with this questions I was surrounded with the most amazing peace and comfort. I felt a since of elevation beyond this world. I knew that everything would be okay.

With many of these issues still pressing on my mind, I prayed, asked for a Father's blessing (where I was instructed to read D&C 9) and fasted to know what to do. The message was simple yet direct. I was given personal revelation, even a prophecy, of what would come in the days to come. I write today to testify that each one of these events foretold me by these prayers and blessings did indeed occur. I didn't even realize the extent of this miracle/prophecy until I spoke to my older and wiser sister this afternoon. Using the scriptures, she demonstrated how just like when Nephi prophesied of the murder of the chief judge in Helaman chapters 8 and 9 everything that he foretold did indeed happen. Yet, even though he told exactly what happened to the judge and who was responsible for the murder, many people did not believe and imprisoned Nephi. She then shared with me that I was given inspiration and I can choose to promptly listen and obey. Her wise counsel sent the tingling confirmation that what she was speaking is true.

I am so grateful for the Spirit of prophecy, for remarkable and valiant older sisters who know the scriptures and enlighten your mind, for friends that encourage and love, for parents who taught me the gospel and continue to be an example of strength and faithfulness, for brothers who are honorable and good, and for God continuing to be a God of Miracles.

Boy oh boy, it is struggles like this where I long for the good ol' days sometimes. When life was simple and full of chasing fireflies, swinging so high that your feet touched the clouds, riding "horsey daddy" to bed and holding on tight to not get bucked off, falling a sleep to your mother reading you bedtime stories, writing love notes, and playing kissing tag. Those were the days!!! Well, I can tell you what -- I am making sure that days like things keep coming. It is time to just love life and love all the greatness that God has given to us.

Just for fun -- My cousin just sent us some pictures of when we were young -- guess which one I am.


melissa said...

I hope and pray everything will get better for you and you do follow the lords counsel wish you were here so i could hug you and let you cry on my shoulder so i am sending you cyber hugs

Michelle said...

I hope things start looking up for you Jen!

As for the picture my guess is either the girl on the end in the blue dress (back row) or the little girl in the front row between the two boys looking down (eating?).

The Amayesings said...

You've got an awesome family!! I love your dad, and he is SOO in tune!!!

Shannon, if you read this, you ROCK!!! I also benefit from your wisdom because Jen often shares your insights with me.

Jen,I'm looking forward to my trip to see you. If you need me sooner than later, just let me know!!

Jen B. said...

Michelle -- ding, ding, ding! You're the winner! I am the little girl in blue on the back row (right side). The one in the front is my sister Annie (when we were little we looked so much alike) so you are double good!

Michelle said...

The girl in blue was my first guess. But then I thought, well what if she's younger so I had to throw in my second guess since I didn't know when the picture was taken.
I'm usually really bad at those kinds of things though.