When will...

our hearts stop hurting so much? It has been 2 weeks since Claudette passed away but it seems like eternity. Things continue to be hazy and I wonder when I am going to wake up from this terrible dream. I keep catching Ian sitting around gazing into nothingness and know that he is missing his mom. Hunter will be talking to me and then just start to cry telling me that he misses Grandma so much. Today after dinner at a local restaurant Kadan received a balloon and immediately asked if he could let it go so he could send it up to Grandma. Addy was coloring beautiful pictures for her Grandma and asked if I could send it to Heaven. My heart just hurts -- hurts for my Husband who is missing his Best friend -- hurts for my little children who still do not quite understand why Grandma had to go to Heaven -- hurts for all the times that we will be missing her FOREVER in this life. She was ,and I am sure continues to be, a woman of amazing strength. A woman who loved her family and loved the Lord. A women that would sacrifice everything for her children. A woman that you could share all the funny things your kids would say. A woman that would call just to hear the little gibberish of her grandchildren. It is times like these that demonstrate what type of person Claudette is. I am grateful for the many years I had her in my life. (written Thursday, February 21)